The Preacher, the Politician, the Teacher, Were each of them once a kiddie. A child, indeed, is a wonderful creature. Do I want one? God Forbiddie! -- Ogden Nash
When the Guru administers, the users are hardly aware that he exists. Next best is a sysop who is loved. Next, one who is feared. And worst, one who is despised. If you don't trust the users, you make them untrustworthy. The Guru doesn't talk, he hacks. When his work is done, the users say, "Amazing: we implemented it, all by ourselves!"
All your files have been destroyed (sorry). Paul.
Garbage In - Gospel Out.
There are three ways to get something done: 1: Do it yourself. 2: Hire someone to do it for you. 3: Forbid your kids to do it.
While walking down a crowded City street the other day, I heard a little urchin To a comrade turn and say, "Say, Chimmey, lemme tell youse, I'd be happy as a clam If only I was de feller dat Me mudder t'inks I am. "She t'inks I am a wonder, My friends, be yours a life of toil An' she knows her little lad Or undiluted joy, Could never mix wit' nuttin' You can learn a wholesome lesson Dat was ugly, mean or bad. From that small, untutored boy. Oh, lot o' times I sit and t'ink Don't aim to be an earthly saint How nice, 'twould be, gee whiz! With eyes fixed on a star: If a feller was de feller Just try to be the fellow that Dat his mudder t'inks he is." Your mother thinks you are. -- Will S. Adkin, "If I Only Was the Fellow"
After the ground war began, captured Iraqi soldiers said any of them caught by superiors wearing a white T-shirt would be executed because of the ease with which the shirts could be used as surrender flags. Some Iraqi soldiers carried bleach with them to make their dark shirts white. -- Chuck Shepherd, Funny Times, May 1991
Even a cabbage may look at a king.
Maybe ain't ain't so correct, but I notice that lots of folks who ain't using ain't ain't eatin' well. -- Will Rogers
Drakenberg's Discovery: If you can't seem to find your glasses, it's probably because you don't have them on.
To those accustomed to the precise, structured methods of conventional system development, exploratory development techniques may seem messy, inelegant, and unsatisfying. But it's a question of congruence: precision and flexibility may be just as disfunctional in novel, uncertain situations as sloppiness and vacillation are in familiar, well-defined ones. Those who admire the massive, rigid bone structures of dinosaurs should remember that jellyfish still enjoy their very secure ecological niche. -- Beau Sheil, "Power Tools for Programmers"
If the Lord God Almighty had consulted me before embarking upon the Creation, I would have recommended something simpler. -- Alfonso the Wise, 13th Century King of Castile, Commenting on the Almagest, by Ptolemy.
Chamberlain's Laws: 1: The big guys always win. 2: Everything tastes more or less like chicken.
I think we can all agree that there is not enough common courtesy shown ... HEY! PAY ATTENTION WHEN I'M TALKING TO YOU DAMMIT! I said I think we can all agree that there is not enough common courtesy shown today. When we take the time to be courteous to each other, we find that we are happier and less likely to engage in nuclear war. This point was driven home by the recent summit talks, where Nancy Reagan and Raisa Gorbachev, each of whose husband thinks the other's husband is vermin, were able to sit down at a high-level tea and engage in courteous conversation ... -- Dave Barry, "The Stuff of Etiquette"
All Finagle Laws may be bypassed by learning the simple art of doing without thinking.
We all like praise, but a hike in our pay is the best kind of ways.
The other day I... uh, no, that wasn't me. -- Steven Wright
When Boy Scouts do it, it's intense.
Diplomacy is the art of letting the other party have things your way. -- Daniele Vare
Class, that's the only thing that counts in life. Class. Without class and style, a man's a bum; he might as well be dead. -- "Bugsy" Siegel